You may notice that I didn’t say writing “in” December? The only thing I’ll be writing this month will be this blog post, addresses on envelopes for Christmas cards, and checks as gifts. I don’t even need to sign my photo Christmas cards—our names come pre-printed.

As luck would have it, this poem (mostly) popped out of my mouth while I was in the basement bedroom sewing Christmas presents. I believe this is the first poem I have written since grade school, over fifty years ago. And that one was better than this one.

I apologize in advance—the use of “poem” in reference to what is written below is hyperbole at its best/worst. I blame the poem and my willingness to post it to our esteemed blog on the stress I have been under as a result of December and Christmas.

Wonderful Time

Most wonderful time of the year. 
Kids must behave and adults gear
Up. Up. And up.
Photos to scour for cards and calendars. 
Hurry before Snapfish wants more of your dollars. 

Envelopes to address. Stamps to buy.
Cookies to bake and apple pie.
Presents to make.
Who spends time crafting presents anymore?
No one! That is what Amazon is for. 

Who gets what? How much? Oh, to heck with it. 
Everyone gets a gift certificate.
Secrets to keep.
A tree to cut and lights to string.
Decorations. Carols to sing.

Parties to attend and surprises to hatch.
Parties to plan and Hallmark movies to watch.
Do not forget
The Hallmark movie drinking game,
Carrots to leave for reindeer tame.

Stockings filled by Santa before milk and cookie,
Smiles of children at presents placed under the tree, 
Make it worthwhile.
Christmas night all is calm, the gifts put away.
We’ll do it all over, come what may.