A Writer’s Twelve Days of Christmas

On the first day of Christmas, my karma brought to me:

A manuscript in a mad tangle

I’m grateful to have a complete first draft. Really. But the tangle starts on page 2.

Two hackneyed plots

It’s not that I’m a plagiarist. It’s just that my memory gland is too strong for my imaginary gland.

Three foreign phrases

I don’t use them myself. So where are my characters getting them?

Four dimpled darlings

Such adorable turns of phrase! Why do my readers get that gag-me-with-a-Smurf expression?

Five false starts

Once, you got a litter of crumpled paper on the floor, signifying writerly despair. Now it’s just delete…delete…delete….

Six friends kibitzing

I rely on their advice. And there’s so much of it! But I like to share my toys.

Seven cocktails calling

My protagonist knocks back Scotch. F. Scott Fitzgerald was drunk more than he was sober. Why do I have to stick to coffee?

Eight deadlines looming

I should be so lucky.

Nine unanswered queries

See above.

Ten howlers howling

Last week I left the same corpse in two places at once.

Eleven critics carping

See Eight and Nine above.

Twelve distractions dithering

E.g., Christmas. Happy holidays, all!

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About Heidi Wilson

I'm currently writing a mystery that takes place in New Hampshire and a novel about an artist who's working in Ireland and Hell. Former incarnations: stock market economist and professor of Greek. Go figure.

Posted on December 14, 2015, in writing, Writing Group and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 2 Comments.

  1. Love, love, love this! Wasn’t sure how you were going to pull it off but you did…my favorites: “I should be so lucky/See above” and “gag me with a Smurf.” Sure brings back the old days….I just don’t get why you stick to coffee and leave the good stuff to your protagonist, who is (spoiler alert) afflicted with–OK, I won’t reveal any more!!

    Like

  2. Eleanor Ingbretson

    Oh, Heidi, you are just too much.
    I love day eight myself. When will we get so lucky? Or does luck have anything to do with it? Personally I don’t think that there is a anything wrong with your imaginary gland. It’s not even imaginary–your imagination is real. It’s front and center in your brain, right where it’s supposed to be. Don’t ever stop using it.

    Like

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